The Chat

The Chat

Sheldon flopped down in the kitchen chair. Thank God he hadn’t been spanked this morning or the force would have hurt, or maybe he should wish that he had been spanked. He wouldn’t be having this so called normal conversation if he’d been spanked. It was so much easier to talk to Milton curled up together on the sofa, not looking at him from across the table, staring at the salt and pepper shakers and fiddling with the placemat.

Outwardly Milton looked calm, his long legs tucked neatly under the table, his hands folded and still. But Sheldon knew his partner, and he was too frozen. This was not relaxed, but a forced stillness of a disciplined mind, a man well practiced in controlling his emotions.

“Shit! What did my brother do? Knock up another girl?”

Under normal circumstances, Milton would have commented on the foul language or even swatted Sheldon. He merely gave Sheldon a long, slow gaze with an expression that Sheldon knew terrified the undergraduates. “I wish it was that simple,” Milton said carefully. “I will spare you the details of his performance at the nursery with only the comment that it lived up to the Zath name.”

Sheldon repressed a smile at Milton’s words. Milton was upset, but Sheldon couldn’t help but enjoy the idea that his little brother had thrown Milton for a loop. Nothing bothered Milton, but Blade had ruined the top’s famed equanimity. 

“Sheldon, you can ask your brother for the details later. I am sure you will find it amusing as will I when we have resolved the dilemma we currently face.”

“Stop sounding like an overbearing professor.” Sheldon wanted to kick the chair or toss the salt shaker to the floor with a resounding crash. Enough of a tantrum would force Milton out of this ridiculous caricature of serious professor. Sheldon started to swing his foot at the chair and stopped. This was his top, upset and out of balance, Sheldon could give him the courtesy of listening, of supporting his part of the relationship. It was so easy normally; they knew the dance, but sitting here all sober and serious, they were both crashing around like the amusement park Dodgem cars. “Sorry,” Sheldon muttered, unable to lift his eyes to Milton.

“I know this is hard for you,” Milton said with a softness that Sheldon knew was reserved only for him. He was the only one who ever saw Milton as sweet or vulnerable. “Your brother--your brother wants to make us a threesome.”

That was all! Blade made a pass at everything on two legs who wasn’t over eighty. Sheldon and Blade had laughed about Milton with two brothers, the upstanding professor encouraging incest and all that. “Blade’s been ogling you for weeks. I know you’re not that blind,” Sheldon said with a laugh.

“I was aware of Blade’s attraction to me. It is only natural in our relationship. I was unaware of how strongly I was attracted to him until today. I will do nothing to harm our relationship. You are my first priority.”

“Oh.” Sheldon ran his hand through this hair. Blade and Sheldon had joked about a threesome, and casually only half thinking about it Sheldon had mentioned that he’d thought it would be fun. “The sex would be hot. It doesn’t bother me that he’s my brother.”

“Blade is very like you. It would mean sharing me.”

“I already am.”

“And it’s hard for you. This would be forever.”

“You’re the top; you make the decision,” Sheldon said with more vehemence than he meant and slapped the table with his hand. “I hate this. I’m your boy; I trust you to make the decisions. Make it for me.”

“Sheldon, this is not me telling you to eat your vegetables or to stop harassing your housemates. I’m not making a decision about a third partner on my own.”

“Please.” Sheldon knew he was whining. He knew he shouldn’t, but Milton was good at this. He was the damn top after all.

“Sheldon, I love you. I won’t hurt you.” Milton reached across the table and took Sheldon’s hand. “This wouldn’t be right without your input.”

“I know.” Sheldon squeezed Milton’s hand, thankful for the contact. He knew Milton was right. He might hate this, but this was outside their agreement. Milton would never do that. This was hard, but it had to be hard for Milton also. “I love my brother. He would be safe with you. He wants things that scare me.”

“Your brother has very strong needs.”

“You can do all those things.”

“Yes, I can, but what will it do to us? He is very like you in many ways. You are siblings. There will be rivalry.”

“I don’t want him hurt.” Blade wanted the stuff Sheldon didn’t touch. It was so easy to get hurt that way. He’d been around Vermont enough to see Gordon with boys when everything had gone wrong. He wouldn’t throw Blade to those jackals. Tilden made a threesome work. They could make it work also.

“I know Blade’s idea of fun terrifies you, and I know I represent safety and experience. Setting that aside, imagine we could find Blade a safe top whose interests mesh, would you still want him as a partner?”

Sheldon looked up into Milton’s dark eyes. They were, as always, calm, reassuring, and completely loving. There was no wrong answer, no trick. “I don’t know,” Sheldon finally said when it was clear that Milton was waiting for him to answer and that he was going to wait for a blizzard in hell if necessary. “It might be fun.”

“It might be,” Milton repeated with an emphasis on might. “But I know it will be a hard balancing act. When I look at it rationally it seems insane.”

“What if you look at it with your heart? If you want it, I’ll be fine.”

“Sweetheart, it’s not just about being fine; it’s about being happy.”

“Happiness is a mirage. Didn’t some famous philosopher say that?”

“Sheldon, are you unhappy?”

Milton’s tone was so soft, so sincere that Sheldon flinched. “God, no. I was being flippant. I hate this. Can we get it over with?” Sheldon pulled his hand away from Milton’s, stood up, and went to the fridge. He wasn’t really thirsty, but it would give him something to do with his hands, some time to think before he said something else stupid. “Do you want a soda?”

“No thank you. Please come sit down.”

Why didn’t Milton just make him? He hated this. Sheldon repressed the urge to shake the can of soda and spray it all over the kitchen. That wasn’t fair. Milton didn’t ask him to do this very often. He could do this. He slid back into his chair and carefully opened the soda.

Milton smiled gently, almost wistfully. “I thought I was going to get a soda shower. Thank you.”

“I thought about it.” Sheldon felt a slight flush rise up his cheeks. “I didn’t think it was fair.”

“Thank you,” Milton repeated.

Shelton took a gulp of soda. “What are we going to do?”

“Tread water. I don’t know.” 

“What about Gordon and Landon. They like that kind of stuff. They could teach him. And they’re safe.”

“I won’t let any harm come to that boy,” Milton said firmly. “No one will touch him whom I haven’t completely vetted.”

Sheldon rolled his eyes. “He’ll be with us when he’s ninety. Do you know how much you scare young tops?” 

“They have to survive your brother; they can’t be afraid of me.” Milton smiled before his face turned somber again. “I think having him spend the summer with Gordon and Landon is a good idea. They can do things I’ve been reluctant to do, fearful that the relationship would become too intimate, not that it hasn’t anyway.” Milton rubbed his hand down his beard, a sure sign he was stressed. They’re old enough Blade won’t see them as potential partners. It will give us both a timeout, a chance to reset the relationship. It will give Blade more time to find a top of his own.”

“If he doesn’t will you take him? Please. I don’t want him alone.”

Milton reached over and tousled Sheldon’s hair. “If that’s what you both want. It will be very hard, and we’ll have to discuss it again, all three of us in careful detail. I know you hate this, and with three it would happen far more often.”

“I know, but I can be brave. I’ll only make you pay later. I’m sure I can find some mischief,” Sheldon said with a grin.

“Behave, boy.” Milton flicked Sheldon lightly across the arm with the back of his hand. “I need you as my partner when we talk to your brother, and then you can drive me wild. You deserve it.”

“We both deserve it.” Sheldon stood, draped both his arms around Milton’s neck, and kissed his cheek. “You’re a good man. I love you.” He hugged Milton hard. He didn’t have the size to lift Milton to his feet or crush his partner against his chest, but he could show Milton the depth of his feelings. “Let’s go do this.” Sheldon untangled himself and took Milton’s hand, leading his partner upstairs and to Blade’s room. It was a partnership, and no matter his natural inclination he could lead if absolutely necessary. Milton did it ninety percent of the time; Sheldon could share the burden for the remaining ten percent.